Monday, August 31, 2015
The Joy of Multitasking
The Joy of Multitasking
I've been multitasking all day. I'm the person who can do a load of laundry while cleaning a bathroom as I'm taking a shower with a phone conversation on the other side of the shower door.
Yep that was me this morning. I had just gotten my shower ready to get into and my phone rang. I left it on speaker the entire time I showered, cleaned the shower and started a load of laundry. Why did I do this? And who was on the other line that wouldn't be offended because I was doing this? Well that's a story now isn't it.
This morning my phone rang much the same as it does every morning. Usually it's from a number unknown to me and since I get so many phone calls wanting to sell me everything from janitorial supplies to printer ink for my home based business, I usually let it go to voicemail. I decided to answer it this morning because it's Monday, I felt like it, I just wanted to see what they were trying to sell me today, or maybe I just had a feeling that this was a call I couldn't ignore. It was priceless.
I answered the phone as I usually do with unknown callers, Design Styles by Deborah, how may I assist you today? Now to be completely honest with you I thought I was talking to a real person, the computer voice was that real, so kudos to the company on that one. But I, being the person I am, hate talking to computers. I really hate talking to computers that I don't know the company they are affiliated with. So by the time I figured out it was a computer I decided to have some fun.
The computer proceeded to ask me if I was me. I looked in the mirror just to make sure. There's more of me than there used to be, but yes, still me. So I said yes.
Okay. Are you still living at your address. I went outside checked the numbers on the house. Yep this is where I live. So I said yes.
Okay. Since I've confirmed that you are the person I'm trying to reach, can I ask you a few questions?
Sure. That's when I figured out it was a computer. It didn't understand my response.
*Rubs hands and shouts for joy.
I'm sorry I didn't understand you, can you repeat that?
Yes. But first I have a question for you. Who is this?
Have you ever traveled out of the United States?
Have you ever used the services of a travel agent?
Do you have a passport?
Do you have a credit card?
It sounds like you are qualified to receive this free offer. Would you like to hear about it?
We would like to offer you a free cruise to the Bahamas. You would only be responsible for the port fees of $69.00 per person. This is a wonderful opportunity to visit the Bahamas on a luxury cruise ship for only $69.00 per person in port fees. Would you be interested in this offer.
Okay let me transfer you to one of our travel specialists. Please hold until someone comes on the line.
Sadly I ended the call right then. Not for the reasons you might think but one of my own in addition to the ones your thinking. I have been to the Bahamas. I hated the Bahamas. I will never go to the Bahamas again. EVER. It was a steaming mass of humanity, sweat, and a huge rock pile that only offered a Straw Market for entertainment on one island and a trip to view all the rich peoples vacation homes on the other.
Imagine if you will, A giant bale of hay with tunnels cut into it miles deep that only has one way in and one way out. Then add the fact that these tunnels are filled with "shops" much like those found in a flea market. Remember we are still inside a bale of hay. The only opening is the one we came in. The walkways are only large enough for one person at a time. There is no going back the way you came in. To someone who is claustrophobic, this was a living nightmare. It took me days to find my way out of that hay cave and by the time I did I had been manhandled by more humanity than lives in my current hometown. I wanted a shower, a nap and a Xanax in no particular order.
The other island was just as bad but in a different way. We thought we were going to see the sights of the island. Yeah, we saw Oprah's house, P-Diddy's house, etc. you get the picture. Plus the tour guide went on to tell us the names of the people who care for the houses and their salaries and why it was such a great job. Really.
Needless to say I passed on the Bahamas trip.
Have a laugh today. I did.
Until next time.