Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Three Little Pigs


                                      Three Little Pigs

The really wonderful thing about friends is some of the funny stories they tell you. Yes, these are true stories about life on a farm. If you live on a farm you can probably relate to them.  If you're a city dweller like me, well are you in for a laugh. 

Honey and Michael lived on a farm, E I E I O, and on this farm, they had some pigs, one of whom was named Oatmeal. He was a brown and white spotted pig and looked like oatmeal with raisins. (No I'm not going to sing you,Old McDonald, today, their last name isn't McDonald)

It just so happened that Honey's mother was living with them at the time and she made life even better. These are her stories as told to me by Honey. 

When you live on a farm you buy day old bread from the day old store by the truckload and feed it to your pigs. They had been to the store and bought the bread that day. They had a bunch of those 55 gallon, metal garbage cans that they stored the bread in until they were ready to feed it to the pigs. One of the pigs, Oatmeal, decided that he wanted some of the bread before it was ready to be fed to him. He managed to climb up on the steps of the house to get into the cans and pry one of the lids off. 

He ate his way down inside of that trash can until all you could see was his back legs and tail. Honey's mother looked out the window and said, "Look canned ham!" 

That pig was so stuck in that can they had to cut the can off of him to get him out. He had literally eaten half the bread in the can and would have eaten more if he hadn't gotten stuck. 

Another time the family was having company over for  dinner and Honey's son Mitchell came up with this jewel. 

"Mama's making oatmeal for dinner." One of the guests looked puzzled and said, "I thought I smelled Ham cooking." 
Mitchell said, "You do, that's Oatmeal." 
Dinner was a somber affair and no the guests did not eat Oatmeal. 

I can relate to that one. My ex, decided we were going to go into the hog raising business and butcher one and sell the other so he bought 2 piglets and some feed. He dropped them off at a friends farm, who also bought pigs, to raise. He thought it would be a good idea for me to go see the piglets that he had named Bacon and Sausage. I was not amused nor did I want to go see them. He insisted. I went. Needless to say we didn't consume either Bacon or Sausage. I advised him that I did not want to be personally aquainted with my dinner. 

Back to Mitchell. Or out of the mouths of kids. Mitchell was outside with his Grandmother when 2 of the pigs were doing what pigs do when they want to have kids. 
Grandma told him, "Oh look there Mitchell, the pigs are dancing!" 
Mitchell looked at his Grandmother and said, "They aren't dancing, they're making baby pigs." Nothing got through that kid. 

Mitchell decided it would be great fun to bring an Angora goat into the house and into his bed. His mom had told him not to but he snuck the goat in anyway. Well the next day there was goat poop in the bed.
 Honey said, "See, I told you not to bring the goat in the house. Now your bed is full of poop." 
He advised her, "No it isn't, these are M&M's." He then ate one of them. 

Spread a laugh, share this with someone. I just did. 

Have a joy filled day,


No comments:

Post a Comment